The Mind of WebbWoman

Hello! Look for future posts about my "observations" Lord knows I am always making observations, movie reviews, whenever I see a movie I want to talk about, or I may just vent my frustrations...who knows?

Saturday, July 05, 2008

The Great Watermelon Massacre


This being July 4th weekend and all got me to reminiscing about summer time when I was a small child. Ms Polly was a very good friend of the family who lived next door to us. I looked to her as my second mom. Actually I felt sorry for her because she and Mr. Wayne, her husband, had no children. I therefore volunteered my services as their honorary kid. I never bothered to ask if they were in need of a preschooler hanging around imparting wisdom or not, I just assumed as much. I remember her putting her hands on her hips, looking at me and saying, “Nanny [her nickname for me] I love you but I just can’t stand you!” and then she'd bust out laughing.

The summer I was six years old her nephew came down for a visit. His name was Mark, and we shared a birthday, I remember he was exactly two years younger than me. He may have been small but he was big enough to have a macho attitude. Boys were better than girls, ‘nuff said. Girls can’t do anything. They can’t run, they can’t play ball, they can’t hunt, why girls aren’t good for anything! I listened to this politely for a while because I was told you had to be nice to company but I finally got enough and brought all my finely honed debating skills down upon him. I looked him in the eye and said, “NU UH!!!!”

Meanwhile Miss Polly had nine little icebox watermelons lined in a row along back yard fence. These are rather small watermelons, usually solid green and about the size of a soccer ball, give or take. As the great debate raged on, (“ARE TOO!” “ARE NOT!”) Mark looked down and pointed to the line of watermelons. Why I bet you can’t even pick up one of these watermelons!

Well there was no way I was going to let that challenge slip by me so I reached down and picked up one of them and lifted it up over my head. (I don’t really remember but I’m sure I probably stuck my tongue out at him while doing so) I eased it back down carefully. Well Mark couldn’t be outdone by a girl (even if the girl was bigger than him) so he picked up one that he perceived to be bigger and so it went. The watermelon weight lifting contest ensued. That is till one of us, (I can’t remember exactly who) put one of the watermelons back down less carefully than before and it burst open. Now if you have ever heard a ripe watermelon busting open you will agree with me that it is one of the best sounds in the world. It sounded so good that we went down the line busting all nine of them just to hear it.

About that time Miss Polly came out of the house waving her arms in the air and shouting at us. She let us have it. She told us that our punishment was that we’d have to sit outside and eat every one of those watermelons. We exchanged a look that said “That’s punishment???” We dug in happily till we were through with maybe one of the smaller ones. The joy was soon gone and we looked at all the watermelons still waiting to be eaten. We were covered with a mixture of dirt and watermelon juice so we weren’t allowed inside the house. We’d stand at the door and call to my sister who was sitting inside watching TV. “Hey Sis,” We’d call “Come out here and help us eat some of this watermelon …PLEASE!!!!!” She’d come out with a teaspoon and take one bite, rub her stomach and say “OH! I’m full! I can’t eat another bite!”

United by a common enemy we plotted revenge the rest of the day. Sadly Mark went back home before our plans could be carried out and I haven’t seen him since. I can’t remember exactly what happened to the watermelon we weren’t able to eat. I’m sure the rest of the family had some, and we probably gave the rest to the cows (cows just love watermelon by the way) You’d think after that experience I’d hate watermelon but I love it as much today as back then. However I now know my limits. And I have since learned to overlook super macho types who go around saying “girls can’t do anything!” Those kinda guys can get a girl in trouble!

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